It’s everyone’s need and want for a conflict less environment, however the only place where there is no friction / conflict is “Space” and there is no “Oxygen” either.
I will Keep this Short Sweet and Simple as much as I can. The only way we can increase trust and reduce friction is having continuous dialogue between two parties.
However this dialogue involves few traits that the parties must own:
- Open Mindedness
- Produce selfless contexts
- Never get hypercritical about any thought / action.
- Try to picture self in other person’s shoes (not literally though)
One thing should be very clear to all of us, there is no shortcut to an ideal environment.
Also, when we get knocked down, it’s in our hands to choose to stay down or rise with new energy. No matter how long it takes but it will get better and once it does same concern will never ever arise in your entire life.
Be the person who ignites “Koi No Yokan” in others!!
Undoubtedly a miraculous song, right!
Am sure you know the meaning of “DESPACITO”, it’s “Slowly”. Are you wondering why I am talking about this, you should! and this inscription will be for new or first line managers. But I will not rule out applicability to existing polished ones too.
I know what it feels like to be managing people for the first time, we are proud of ourselves. And so much that we miss to understand the pace at which trust of a team is gained. It takes lot of effort and everything happens slowly (Pasito Pasito).
Below are most important factors that are thrown on back burners:
- Identifying what people don’t like
This helps you put forward right tasks / responsibilities on their shoulders.
This will help you pull team out and start liking what they don’t, this will make you savor every moment.
- Keep your sleeves rolled up all the time (not literally).
Jump in sensibly where ever you see anyone needs your support. Team may not expect you to but when you do you are remembered.
- Be an elegant, confident and graceful personality.
You should be able to turn every situation favorably to team. Be the firewall.
A team is a scrambled piece and manager has to move pieces into their correct places to be able to showcase a beautiful picture.
Most importantly, everything happens slowly (Pasito a Pasito, suave suavecito. “iAy Bandito!”)
This is in continuation of my earlier thought “Positive fear”:
We tend to be effected and impacted so much by external world and events that we forget how beautiful, strong and pure we are within.
Someone has said this so beautifully – “Closing eyes and Looking within is Apex”
You tell me (not necessarily vociferously, you can do a telepathy too. Ha ha!) What do you think or feel when something doesn’t works out as expected? We all know the answer: some will scowl, some be gloomy others aggravate or show resentment, right!!
But why? Why do we waste our energies on results of our (or for that matter others in conjunction of ours) past actions or deeds, why can’t we accept the reality, learn lessons and move forward to generate better results?
I am not saying that I do not get effected / impacted, I do! however have started channelizing the reactions into something that can lead to positivity.
Just a food for thought!
Not sure this will give you the right flavor, however my intentions are to help you understand the underlying fact. Here is my bon mot for you:
Sometimes you have to see people as crayons,
They may not be your favorite color but you need them to complete the picture!
Am sure we all have tasted “Bitter Gourd” and for most of us its “bete noire”. Those who really like it know it’s good only when our taste buds gets the original flavor of “Bitter Gourd”.
Why am I explaining this? We all know and practice to achieve what we are not, by leaving behind our original self. Thus, departing away from our own originality that identifies self.
How many of us know who they really are and matches that with what they pretend to be outside?
Crux is you don’t need everyone to like you or for that matter your work, be right and be yourself is what really means, because when you choose to be right there will be very few who will stand by thee and they will do same always.
It’s kind of fantasia and you have to find what best self you are and stick to it!
I hope you have read my earlier blogs on “Journey to Success” and “Positive Fear”, if not then please do so for this one to make any sense!!
I am, and am sure you all too are aware of the fact that life is so very challenging and convoluted beyond our control. The only way we can progress is to be afraid of being failed.
Now why be afraid of getting failed? This fear will become your or you have to make it your “Positive Fear”. We are not here to enjoy the success rather enjoy the journey to success and the humiliations we have gone through during this journey.
You can be a big person with lots of riches however if you have not enjoyed the “Journey” then you are not a successful human being. To be successful you need to know how to crush success under your feet and not let it sit on your head and attain wisdom, which, most of us don’t.
To be a real successful human being and to be able to walk on the path of success you must learn to turn you fears into “Positive Fear”.
Believe in yourself and think before you act plus feel while you implement!
Yes, almost all of us must have heard this song by “Justin Timberlake”, and we all know what happens at the end!
What am I trying to explain here? Nothing, am just trying to reiterate what we already know but with few experiences.
If you do good, the good will come back even if it’s bad temporarily.
Be the controller of how you act, what decisions you take and how you drive yourself for the end results. Shortcuts are no good and you get to know sooner or later. If you don’t believe me try yourself.
Often, when something goes wrong in our lives or workplace, and it just doesn’t seem to make sense as to why it happened, it can be very puzzling. And this happens in both situations positive / negative.
It is up to us to build our eternal self and train it in such a way to always follow right rather than wrong.
I define “Right” and “Wrong” as:
- Rather be Impractical and Gallant then Hypocritical Tyrant
- Wretchedness Remorse On Negative Gimmick
Hope this helps!!
An expression, at times state of mind and heart; sometimes a power that holds you back from doing something / taking a step or leap etc. etc. ……
What is it for you and how are you managing it?
As per my understanding and observation 60 percentage of people just sit and do nothing; 20 percent keep whining about situation and either try to seek influential help or isolate the root cause of fear and move on.
This is the last 10 percent who really handles it / face it. What they really do is work backwards to identify root cause and apply measures to correct. There are times when no workaround is present still this group do not let fear impact their self-conscious and state of heart.
Remaining 10 is still a surprise to all as they behave very differently in different situations.
Have you ever thought of positive and not so positive fear?? I hope you did, still let me help with an understanding that will help you deal with it effectively.
There used to be times when i treat fear as fear and never categorized it into two types above. One day my mentor (I will not quote his name unless he is ok) and I were having a discussion around me being able to present to senior management and I expressed my concern that the fear overpowers me during presentations and plays a spoil sport. He then said “Everyone in this world fears of not being able to perform, but people who understand that this is a positive fear continue to improve.”
Positive fear is when you really care for the quality of action or act that you do for something good. This helps you prepare more and boats performance.
I suggest practice this for about a week, identity your positive fears and care for them, am sure you will experience a magical change within yourself!
Need not to mention rest all are not so positive ones, still they are there to help you.
Believe it or not, please do provide feedback.